Our little break dancer!

Keegan heard some music and climbed up on the box and started dancing, was so cute. By the time we filmed this he was starting to tire out! But our little guy has some moves.

Salsa!!!!

So Sean and I started a new hobby called: Salsa dancing

We are taking lessons and dancing twice a month at the local Art Center. So Fun! Mostly we laugh all the time. Here is some of our beginning moves!



Want to learn : Here you go! Give it a try, We love it!!!

Dancing in the Minefields

That was then

This is now

Was driving yesterday and heard this song on the radio and it made me cry! I got home and made Sean listen to it with me! It reminds me so much of how I feel about my hubby! There are days that we are dancing in the mindfields! This just says it all. dancing. But just like the song says, I want to be dancing in the Mindfields!


Well I was 19 you were 21
The year we got engaged
Everyone said we were much to young
But we did it anyway
We got the rings for 40 each from a pawnshop down the road
We said our vows and took the leap now 15 years ago

Chorus:
We went dancing in the minefields
We went sailing in the storm
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise was for

Well ‘I do’ are the two most famous last words
The beginning of the end
But to lose your life for another I’ve heard is a good place to begin
Cause the only way to find your life is to lay your own life down
And I believe it’s an easy price for the life that we have found

Chorus:
And we’re dancing in the minefields
We’re went sailing in the storm
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise was for
That’s what the promise is for

Bridge:
So when I lose my way, find me
When I lose loves chains, bind me
At the end of all my faith
to the end of all my days
when I forget my name, remind me

Cause we bear the light of the son of man
So there’s nothing left to fear
So I’ll walk with you in the shadow lands
Till the shadows disappear
Cause he promised not to leave us
And his promises are true
So in the face of this chaos baby
I can dance with you

Chorus:
So lets go dancing in the minefields
Lets go sailing in the storms
Oh lets go dancing in the minefields
And kicking down the doors
Oh lets go dancing in the minefields
And sailing in the storms
Oh this is harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise if for
That’s what the promise is for

Big Bertha made it home!

This last Saturday we picked up Big Bertha. For those of you that don't know ,Big Bertha is my child that I have a love/hate relationship with. Big Bertha is our 15 passenger van. I never thought I would say this but I am so happy to have her home, finally. I have been without my van for over 6 weeks and it has been painful. Bertha was stolen from us in late July. I was helping my sister move in Chicago and my van was stolen. The story goes like this.
My sister was moving back to California and I went up to Chicago with Bertha and seven of my children to help her pack all her belongings and bring them back to my house to store while she went on a 3 month trip to Africa. So it was an intense week of packing, kids and many trips to the Salvation Army. I was crazy and fun at the same time. I have to admit, it was such a joy to have my sister in Chicago this last year. I learned how to hail a cab and ride the subway. Things I had never done before in my life. So our week had ended and we had everything that she owned and was keeping packed in the back of our van. I couldn't see out the back of the window of the van and parking in Chicago was a 30 min ordeal each time but we did it. We were so proud. I was leaving for home with her stuff and having a farewell picnic with my brother and his family and my sister. I walk back to our parked van approx. 1 mile walk and can't find our van. I am walking up and down the street for over 30min in shock. I can't believe it. I can't even think straight. I have 7 children with me who are very tired from a very long week of packing and I am ready to get home to my husband. I can't get ahold of my sister and I am stranded in Lincoln Park, Chicago. Wow! This is a picture of all the kids on a park bench, processing that our Van is gone.


Next, I call my husband crying and just unsure what to do next. Thank God for my husband. He calms me down, calls the police and then calls me back with the information to call the police and make a report. He then calls Amtrak and books 8 tickets from Chicago to Bloomington and has me on a train within 3 hours so that I can get home safe. My sister got my message and I am able to get into her apartment till we can catch a train. We pack into a Chicago cab and make it to the train station just in time to catch the train home.
Three days later, we get a call from Chicago police that they found our van. Everything of value had been taken and our radio stolen, car door lock riped out, window broken and steering column broken but it still was running. PTL.
She had to sit in the impound lot in Chicago for a couple weeks and then she was released. Sean had to make a trip up to downtown Chicago to prove that we owned her before the tow company could pick her up and take her to the shop to be fixed. That is another funny story.
Sean is thinking no big deal,he get to where he is supposed to be to get her and he has to travel down this dusty, gravel road that has holes big enough for entire tires to fit in. He is afraid that a tire will pop on his way out to this lot. He sees miles of cars and one little trailer when he finally get up the road and into the lot. He makes his way to the little trailer and he gets inside. It's small, sticky, and smelly.Then he comes face to face with the "Fat Boss". This guy doesn't talk he just sits in his chair behind the secretary and nods and he is FAT. People are running in and out and up to him put a paper in front of him , he nods and then turns his head. Sean is thinking- I have entered an episode of the Sopranos. They release Bertha and Sean is happy that he made it out alive. ( kidding ) She get to the shop to be fixed and then there is a hold up because her parts are so old and they have to get them special.
In the end, I was never so happy to see her on Saturday when I walked in the the shop. She was stinky and messy but nothing I couldn't clean up with some good bleach spray and a vacuum. She is home and she never looked so pretty to me. Part of her carpet on the inside is gone but other than that she gets me from point A to point B and I am happy about that. Everyone is in a seatbelt and no more cramming everyone in the Sunfire. Life back to normal. My life is ever an adventure! I have so many stories that I can't even believe they happen to me, sometimes. But God is always good and faithful. Welcome home Bertha!

The Ultimate Health Care Plan!

Listen to my prayer, O God; don't hide Yourself when I cry to you! Hear Me, Lord! Listen to me! For I groan and weep beneath my woe! Ps55:1-2
But I will call upon the Lord to save me and He will. I will pray morning, noon and night pleading aloud with God; and He will hear and answer.vs 16-17. God Himself- God from the everlasting age past will answer them!vs 19a ( taken from the Living Psalms)

This was my cry to the Father the last two weeks after our visit with the Doctor. Every time something big comes my way, I always run to my heavenly Father for answers. Sometimes I don't get the answers and sometimes I get the answer and it's not what I wanted to hear and sometimes I get a Miracle!
After my visit with Fastina's Cardiologist two weeks ago , I was in anguish as the writer of Psalms is in this passage. The thought of your child having to go under the knife a third time on an organ of the body that is the most vital was disheartening. The MD painted a very bleak picture to us. I feel the doubt seep in to my very bones and the fear as I sit in the very sterile chair in the examing room. I say to myself "no, I am not going to go there. She didn't come this far in life for this to happen." I see my very calm,precious child begin to cry( the child that rarely breaks down and has the strength of an army) she is broken and she says to me " This is my worst nightmare."
Let me back up, Our seventeen year old daughter Fastina came to grace our lives 4 years ago. She was 12 turning 13. Fastina was born in Haiti, she contracted rhuematic fever at a young age that destroyed her mitral valve. She came in contact with an organization called Haitian Hearts and Dr. John Carroll. Dr. John brought Fastina to OSF to have her mitral valve replaced at 8 eight years old. She was returned to Haiti after her recovery in the States. After a year , she was fluent in English and this was a huge thing as she returned to school in Haiti. Approx. 4 years later Fastina's heart was in crisis again. She was extremely ill, her heart was not functioning and she needed to have her valve replaced again. However this time, she was going to have to have a mechanical valve and would need to be on long term coumadin therapy and due to the damage in the heart was going to need other medications also to survive. Doing a second surgery was not even an option unless, she stayed in the States for ongoing follow up with cardiac doctors and medication. As many of you know, medication, medical coverage is not something that exist in Haiti. The weak die and the ones with weak hearts die faster. She came back to the United States and got her second surgery and then a search for a family began and that is when we came into the picture. We had already adopted our oldest daughter Vivianna and when we heard of Fastina we knew that she was supposed to be with us!

This is sweet little 12 year old fastina waiting to come to America!



The best way for me to describe this child is that she is like an oak tree. Her roots run deep in the Lord. She has wisdom beyond her years. She has a gentle, quiet meek, spirit that I can learn from and she also bubbles over with the joy of the Lord . She as been a true joy in our lives and it has been an honor to be a part of her life.
You can imagine how I felt two weeks ago as this news is dropped in our lap. "No not my oak tree"( I am thinking). To see her cry and feel her pain was utter agony in my heart.
I think to myself " where does my help come from?" and he says back to me " It comes from me". So I call out to the Father and I ask him to take care of this situation. "Lord, I don't want Fastina to have open heart surgery . I want you to heal her heart and give the surgeon wisdom in this situation to see that it is not needed". Sunday at the Altar, I weep and groan before the Lord. I am strong and I don't cry. It takes alot for me to cry. I don't weep but when it comes to my children and their life - I do weep! I wept before my Heavenly Father.
Weeping is cleansing, refreshing, renewing and if there is one place that we can go to weep it is in front of our Lord. He knows all and He knows all of our Heart. I can be vunerable before him and I know it is okay. In fact, when we let our hair down and really let it out before Him and he can handle it all, even the ugly parts. I think that we become closer and He can cleanse us deeper. As I wept at the altar before my Lord, I felt the peace seep in and I also felt the doubt begin to fall away. The peace had taken control but the answer was still not there.
That is when the battle of doubt begins and things run through my head like" Does God really hear us?" Does he really still do miracles?" The questions come and go and our different each time but it is still the doubt game that we all play in our heads. It is the measure of our faith and the molding of the pot that he puts us all through.
So the answer came yesterday and I have to say that "Yes, he answers prayers and he really does hear our cry!" We got a phone call from cardiologist and they are not going to do the open heart surgery! Praise God! They also are going to wait on the pacemaker and are going to play with some of the medications and are hoping that this is the reason for some of the issues. So I am doing a little dance today! A little dance of Joy!
My encouragement to you, today! Don't give up on Him! He does hear our prayers and he is the Ultimate Health Care Plan and He still does miracles!!!!

Can I drink this Cup?

This last week ,I was drawn back to the book that I have probably read 10 times in the last 10 years. It is a quick read written by Henri J.M. Nouwen. He is an amazing man that speaks to me. This last week, I was the donkey in this picture. I was feeling the burdens in my cart. It had overwhelmed and overloaded me. I was like the donkey and I was in panic. If I closed my eyes right now and put myself in the donkey's place ,I can imagine his feelings. Feeling of fear, worry , terror, horror and he was probably having thoughts like " Where's my help?" " Why did this happen?"
The burdens in my basket were heavy( daughter rushed to ER, another daughter needing a third heart surgery, neice with severe emotional problems that I am homeschooling ,broken washer, stolen car being fixed and still not returned, issues at church in my volunteer position. The list could go on;however ,you get the picture. I had to pull Henri Nouwen off the shelf and ask myself " Can I drink this Cup?"
In the scripture, Jesus asked his friends James, John and the sons of Zebedee, " Can you drink the cup that I am going to drink?".
" Can we hold our life, lift our life, and drink it, as Jesus did?"

Henri Nouwen says in his book:
" Holding the cup of life means looking critically at what we are living. This requires great courage, because when we start lookng, we might be terrified by what we see. Questions may arise that we don't know how to answer. Doubts may come up about things we thought we were sure about. Fear may emerge from unexpected places. "

I am reminded again and again of the Cup that Christ took for us and I know that my trials and fears and concerns will never compare. We must remember that God is our Rock, He is the one who knows all. My answers is "yes" God , I can hold this Cup and yes I will hold it with Joy. As Nouwen says, " what causes us sadness can become the fertile ground for gladness". We must realize that " The cup of life is not only a cup of sorrow but also a cup of joy. When we realize this is when we are able to drink it."
Donkeys are stubborn and stupid and I am a donkey many times in my life! I need to stop looking at the ground but start looking at the heavens and My Lord.
This week I can look back and thank the Lord that Peace has settled in( the one that passes all understanding) and my feet are firmly planted on the Rock of my Salvation. My house is not built on sand but rock and I will stand firm!

Working Out

I have went totally "commando" on my Body. It is time! I found 4 gray hairs, my arms wave goodbye to friends and I was posted on face book in a photo in which a double chin was displayed. Oh no, oh no! I am not going to go here anymore. I have a dear friend who has had 7 children( gave birth to all of them). She looks amazing. She is probably a size 6-7 maybe smaller and looks great. I notice that she has found the secret to success and that is consistency. It certainly has paid off for her and I know that I can do this. So I met with a personal fitness trainer. I am in my second week of working out. It feels great to be sweating and lifting. I am already starting to see some changes and muscles that I haven't seen in years. Being 36 and doing this is alot different than in my teens. It used to be a piece of cake to go out and run a 6:30 min. mile. Tonight, I was dripping in sweat( worried about the guy in on the treadmill next to me that he was getting drenched)from trying my best to maintain a 9 min pace. My personal goals I am going to post so that I remind myself of how much I want this:
1. Run a Marathon this next year ( full 26 miles) at a 8:30 pace
2. Lose 30 pounds
3. Lose the arm flaps and handles
4. Be able to feel confident this next year in the swimming pool.

So I am committed to 10 weeks of exercise and hopefully a habit forms for my future.